I never thought, i'd ever be in such a situation.

I'm thinking about so many things, that don't really have to do something with my life, but with the lifes of the best friends i ever had. It is so a terrible feeling to see so many relationships breaking around me.

And I'm sorry to say this, but I can't stand this anymore. Just one and a half years ago, my parents divorced, a short time after that, I told a Girl i had been in love with for almost two years, my feelings for her, and she said she saw one of her best friends in me but nothing more.

Then there was silence for a while, I got new friends and i got worse at school.

Then i saw bella and jelle being together I was surprised at first, but then i thougt that was a really nice couple. A few weeks later there was the dancing ball(->see the first post) And just two weeks after this jelle and bella splitted up. i tried to see both sides of theire feelings his and hers, because i like both of them. But then i saw i couldn't be on both sides. janika and his boyfriend aren't happy together, she is always a bit down and I don't know what to do now. I think i lost my head in the relationships of others and stopped thinking about my own life.

This is hard and I'm really not always so happy as I seem.


Although, i haye to tell you this, i want to say you are the best friends I ever had and I hope I'll never forget you. 

2 Kommentare 3.5.07 19:20, kommentieren

Yesterday evening I was on the road with two friends. We were driving from itzehoe to elmshorn, and the radio was playing silently, suddently one of my friends turned it louder and we heared just the end of the news:" Please drive carefully between horst and elmshorn, there is an unsecured accident." That was just the part of the highway were we were. One of the guys is member of the " Rotes Kreuz" so we raced on. We saw the smoke before anything else. But he went just on to the front and stopped at the first police car. He accidently had his uniform with him. He got it and jumped out of the car. We two others just waited at the car.The trucks of the firebrigade became more and more and they stopped the fire quickly, but they couldn't safe the life of the driver who had chrashed into the end of a big truck at almost 200km/h. I couldn't realize this yesterday, but now I'm starting to realize, that last night one more human died jsut a few hundred meters away from me.


But why??? Why has this to happen??


If anybody has got an answer, please post it in the comments!

3 Kommentare 28.4.07 11:06, kommentieren

I'm sitting here and i think about love.

Yesterday evening I have been to the Colo in Wilster, it was the end of a dancing course. I had thougt about my dancing partner for the last three weeks. And I was not sure, whether I just liked her ore felt mre for her.
We danced all the evening, and it was totally great.But then it were the last few songs, they played a beautiful, slow waltz. Our dancing position became closer and we just lokked in each others eyes. Suddenly we stopped dancing, and just kissed each other.

2 Kommentare 23.4.07 12:11, kommentieren

I thought all night about what to say to her, but I found nothing really good. I had a lot of ideas but they were all rubbish. And so I went to school without knowing what to say when I meet her. I just waited fpr her near the bikes, and when she arrived, I went towards her. She saw me and said:" Ähm sorry but I think that on Friday was a bad mistake. It's not that I don't like you ore something, I think you're really nice,but you aren't my type of guy and so there will be nothing between us. I hope it's not too hard to you." I just said, that I'll survive it. But it was hzard to hold the tears back. I talked to a really nice girl from my cllas she knew what happende before and she helped me really much. Thanks Bella! I went home after the fifth lesson because I had so hard headaches. Now I'm sitting here, crying and trying to think about something else then her.

3 Kommentare 23.4.07 12:22, kommentieren